Engaged couples have a long list of tasks to prepare for their wedding. In the midst of looking at venues and guest lists, though, you also need to plan for the marriage itself. This might feel much less comfortable. It can be much more difficult to bring up a prenup than to discuss caterers.
Planning for your life together is much more important in the long run than planning the ceremony. Still, you need to approach it with love and respect for your partner. Take some time to plan, and bring up a prenup with the care it deserves. Raise the issue and talk about it in a way that establishes a loving, trusting marriage.
Understand What a Prenup Is
Part of what makes it difficult for some people to bring up a prenup is a general misunderstanding of what it is. Many believe it is about shielding assets and keeping things from your partner. While protecting yourself in the event of a divorce is part of the reason for a prenup, there is much more. You are setting guidelines that establish expectations for both of you.
One aspect of your marriage in which this process helps is protecting your assets. Each of you comes into the marriage with money, assets, and debt. While Arizona treats as community property what you attain during the marriage, it can be tricky to define what is not part of that. When you bring up a prenup, you can approach it as defining these issues.
Be aware of how your partner might feel when you bring up a prenup. Misunderstandings of these agreements abound in pop culture and among many people. Make clear that the prenup will protect both of you. This is not something you are imposing because you do not trust him or her. Rather, it is something to help develop that trust.
When to Raise the Issue
Determining when to bring up a prenup can be challenging. Raising the subject in a public place or during a date may upset your future spouse. You should be someplace where you can talk privately and openly. Doing otherwise puts pressure on your partner and creates the potential for mistrust.
Besides an appropriate place, you need to choose a time when you will be able to talk through it. Don’t spring the idea on someone right before an appointment or before work. You should never bring up a prenup as a dirty topic or as something you don’t want to discuss in detail.
Approaching the Prenup Together
Finally, when you bring up a prenup, remember to ask a question that leads to discussion. If you are forcing a prenup on your partner, he or she will have trouble trusting you or your motives. You are clarifying the financial picture for your marriage. Be open and willing to discuss it.
Remember that when you bring up a prenup, it should not be about the concerns you have for the relationship. It’s important to have a clear picture of your finances before the marriage so you can address how to handle them in the future. Starting this important conversation prior to the marriage can help you bring a better level of communication to the marriage and ensure a long and happy union.
A prenup does not have to be a hard or tense topic of conversation. Your strongest financial future begins with an honest, open look at your financial past and present. If you bring up a prenup respectfully and lovingly, you can lay the groundwork for a strong, honest marriage. For help creating your prenup, contact Ogborne Law.
Engaging with an attorney to protect your family is never an easy step. Whether you need to protect your family from the unthinkable or restructure your family through collaborative divorce, we’re here to help. When you’re ready to schedule a consultation with Michelle Ogborne, please visit the scheduling page to get started.