4 Ways to Have an Easier Divorce With Kids
Written by Michelle N. Ogborne

4 Ways to Have an Easier Divorce With Kids

January may be the month couples begin conversations about divorce, but March is when the most filings for divorce occur. Collaborative divorce is for couples who want a win/win outcome. It’s for couples who want to work together for a better life apart, especially if they have kids together. The singular, most important and prepossessing aspect of collaborative divorce with kids is this: Collaborative divorce gives children a voice.

4 Ways Collaborative Divorce with Kids Works Better

Couples may not realize it, but during a traditional divorce, kids are usually afraid to express what they feel. They fear they will hurt one parent, anger a parent, or worse: make the parent leave them, too. Internalizing their feelings can have long-term psychological effects in a litigious divorce with kids.

Here are four reasons why a collaborative divorce is a caring choice for couples and their families:

1. Your Kids Can Express Themselves

Couples who have a collaborative divorce with kids can learn ways to better communicate with each other and their children. They will also encourage their children to communicate feelings and fears, and share their grief.

The very fact that you are following the collaborative divorce model gives your children greater peace of mind. There are fewer arguments, no spouse-bashing, and respectful conversations. A collaborative divorce may make your family life better than it was before the divorce.

2. Privacy Is Important to Your Children

Children of every age – but especially teens – are image-conscious and have an almost painful need to fit in but never stand out. A big advantage to a collaborative divorce with kids is that your divorce is private. Court-driven divorces are public information, and filings can be published in the local newspaper. With a collaborative divorce, your kids’ friends won’t know any more than your kids want them to know.

3. Children Need to Understand It’s Not Their Fault

As you help your kids handle divorce, you’ll have to use age-appropriate strategies. One of the things kids of every age don’t understand is, “It’s not all about you” – in their world, it is all about them, so the reason mom and dad are so quiet must be because of them. The divorce may feel like a punishment, so in their mind, they must’ve done something wrong.

A litigious courtroom divorce reinforces your kids’ fears. Once both of you begin your collaborative divorce roles as co-parents, you can begin to restore your children’s confidence in both of you as a united front, working together to protect them.

4. Divorce Is a New Way of Living, Not a New Way of Loving

Collaborative divorce includes your immediate family in the process. Your kids will appreciate being important decision-makers rather than assets split between parents. Not only your children but also your extended family and other relatives will be relieved to learn the collaborative divorce philosophy: “Families are forever.”

Where you live and who lives where may change. Navigating holiday dinners and grandparent visitations may require additional planning. However, the love for your family doesn’t dissolve because of a divorce.

Collaborative Divorce Is Family-First

Ogborne Law, PLC is Scottsdale’s family-first collaborative divorce attorney. We have experience in Arizona family law. We understand where you are and where you want to be. When it’s time to make the move toward collaborative divorce, contact us.