No one enters a marriage with the expectation of it failing. Still, upwards of 20% of first marriages end in divorce inside of 5 years, and 48% of marriages are finished by the 20-year mark, as reported by 2006-2010 data from the US’s National Survey of Family Growth. Separations and divorces are emotionally challenging events, but it’s achievable to have a break-up that is healthy.
Communication, Cooperation, And Mediation
The ending of a marriage will usually release a ton of emotions including irritation, grief, worry, and panic. Many times, these feelings can rise-up when you’re not expecting them, blindsiding you. Responses like these are normal, and over time the force of these feelings will dwindle. Meanwhile, be nice to yourself. Research has shown that people that are nice and understanding of themselves have an easier time dealing with the day to day challenges of divorce.
Be sure to not think of your breakup as a war. Divorce mediation is usually a good alternative to going to court. Attempting to work things out on your own can be annoying and self-destructive as the issues that led to your divorce are likely to come back up throughout divorce negotiations. Research has shown that mediation could be beneficial for emotional contentment, children’s needs, and spouse to spouse relationships.
Having a good sit down and speaking with your soon to be ex might be the last thing you’ll want to do, but teamwork and communication can make divorce easier for each person involved. Talking things out with a psychologist can help you reach collective decisions with minimal conflict.
It may be challenging to remember critical details when you’re emotional. Find a time when you’re feeling composed to jot down all the things you wish to talk about. When you finally sit down with your soon to be ex, use the list for guidance. Having a “manuscript” to work from could take much of the emotion out of face to face discussions. When in person discussions are still too hard, think about dealing with some of the details over e-mail.
When Children Are Involved
Divorce can be an upsetting experience for children, but research shows that a lot of children adapt well within two years after the divorce; in contrast, children usually experience more problems when their parents stay in high conflict marriages rather than separating. Throughout a divorce, parents can do a lot to make the children’s transition easier. Do the best you can to keep conflicts away from the children. Continual parental conflict amplifies children’s risk of mental and social issues.
It’s typically helpful for parents that are getting divorced to come up with a game plan and present it to their children as a team. And, keeping the communication lines open. Children benefit from having sincere conversations about the changes that their family is going through.
In a lot of cases, unexpected changes can be difficult for children. When suitable, give them a couple of weeks’ notice prior to moving them into a new home, or prior to one spouse moving out. It may be beneficial to reduce changes as much as you can in the months and years after the divorce.
Children are better off when they keep a close relationship with both parents. Research has shown that children that have poor relationships with one or both parents might have a tougher time dealing with family disruption. Parental education programs that make an emphasis on improving the relationship among parents and their children have shown to help children deal better in the months and years after the divorce.
Taking Care Of Yourself
The changes brought about by separation and divorce could be overpowering. But more necessary than ever, it’s vital to take care of yourself. Talk with your support network, turning to family members and friends for help and compassion. Other types of support groups may also help you deal with a lot of the emotions because of the marriage is ending.
To remain positive as you begin a new time in your life, maybe engage in activities that you used to love but haven’t done in a long time. Or perhaps try out new activities or hobbies. Stay physically healthy by eating proper and exercising routinely.
How Psychologists Can Help
Divorce is a challenging time for the whole family. Divorcing couples and their children could benefit from speaking with a psychologist to assist them in dealing with their emotions and adjusting to the changes in their lives. Psychologists may also help you consider carefully about what went awry in the marriage so you can keep clear of repeating any destructive habits in your next relationship.
What’s the Easiest Kind of Divorce
The easiest kind of divorce, which is faster, is known as an uncontested divorce. This relatively quick divorce happens because all of the primary matters have been agreed upon by both of you. A contested divorce is a divorce where the parties can’t come to an agreement on some or all matters.
Uncontested Divorces Take Less Time Than Contested Divorces
A contested divorce is a divorce where the parties can’t come to an agreement on some or all matters. It could involve a trial and might involve long settlement discussions. It could also involve investigating your spouse’s finances, which expends a lot of time and energy.
An uncontested divorce, nevertheless, takes a lot less time since you are both in agreement about:
- Child custody
- Visitation rights
- Child support
- Property Division
- Debt Division
- Health and life insurance
- Other matters, like schooling and religion
If you’re wanting to get a fast divorce, an uncontested divorce can help you accomplish that. Uncontested divorces can also save you money in legal fees, decreases stress, and can get you through the courts a lot faster than a contested one.
Is an Attorney Required for an Uncontested Divorce?
If you are filing for an uncontested divorce, it’s wise for an attorney to examine your marital settlement agreement to guarantee sure it’s fair to you and that it isn’t biased.
Similarly, your spouse needs to hire an attorney to examine the agreement. One attorney can’t represent both of you, so separate attorneys are needed. If you have knowledge that a certain attorney takes a longer than other attorneys to examine papers, you are better off looking for a different divorce attorney.
DeLoe, Ronna L. “How to Get a Quick Divorce.” Legalzoom.com, 14 Aug. 2019, www.legalzoom.com/articles/how-to-get-a-quick-divorce.
Choose the Right Divorce Lawyer in Arizona
Regardless of the choice you make, it’s important you make the best choice for you when hiring a divorce attorney. Remember: The decisions you make now can affect your future. Ultimately, choosing the best lawyer will depend on which lawyer feels best for you and your situation.
Engaging with an attorney to protect your family is never an easy step. Whether you need to protect your family from the unthinkable or restructure your family through collaborative divorce, we’re here to help. When you’re ready to schedule a consultation with Michelle Ogborne, please visit the scheduling page to get started.