7 Steps for Dealing with Divorce

Dealing with divorce puts you on an emotional roller coaster. One day you feel like a loser; you wonder what you did to wreck your marriage. The next day, you’re doing a happy dance. An end to the arguments and criticism is near, and you’ll be free once again!

Here’s what you need to know: when dealing with divorce, you’re going to have ups and downs, good days and bad days. Just remember this is a transition, and a temporary one at that. Don’t let dealing with divorce define you.

7 Ways to Make Dealing With Divorce Easier

From emotional discussions with your soon-to-be ex to stressful thoughts about the future, it’s easy to get burned out. You have to take care of yourself through this stressful time… –Michelle Ogborne

Truly, staying healthy is the best thing you can do for yourself when dealing with divorce. You may not feel like going to the gym or even taking the dog for a walk, but force yourself to keep moving. Here are 7 additional ways to help you through dealing with divorce:

1. Know you’re okay – It’s really alright to mourn the loss of your marriage. It may have been far from ideal, but it was likely your most important relationship. Recognize grief, and allow it to happen. There’s a poem that ends with, “For every joy that passes, something beautiful remains.”
2. Feelings are fine – Sometimes we keep ourselves on tight emotional leashes. It’s “bad” to express anger; “tacky” to throw a tantrum, and you won’t allow yourself to wallow in self-pity. Guess what? Your emotional health needs to express itself. You’re dealing with divorce – your divorce – and you have a mixture of feelings. Mental Health America says, “It’s normal to feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated and confused…You also may feel anxious about the future. Accept that reactions like these will lessen over time.”
3. What’s new? – If ever there was a time to find a hobby or develop an interest, this is it. One divorced man threw himself into making potholders, and by the holidays, he had enough to gift every friend plus his entire office. Paint; if not on canvas, then paint your fence. Join a bowling league. When dealing with divorce, finding a new activity can feel like a lifesaver.
4. Cultivate friendships – You can attend a divorce support group and meet people who understand what you’re feeling. Even better, call that friend you’ve been meaning to get together with.
5. Help others – It’s okay to focus on yourself and your feelings when dealing with divorce. Still, many find that getting outside of themselves is the best therapy. Non-profit organizations need administrative or emotional support for challenged or elderly people. Volunteer.
6. Talk to your kids – Dealing with divorce and children is a whole different ballgame. Not only are you emotionally challenged, but your kids are suffering, too. So set aside time every day to turn off cellphones and talk:
   • Discuss routines. Make plans.
   • Don’t bash your spouse or force the kids to take sides.
   • Let them know they still have two parents: You and your ex-spouse love them and are still working together for them.
   • Listen.
   • Reassure them it’s not their fault.
   • Reinforce that living arrangements have changed, but you are still a family.
7. Choose respectful, private divorce – Collaborative divorce is the most family-friendly way to end a marriage. It preserves relationships and is the most child-focused way to begin living a “new normal.”

The DIY Arizona Divorce

Collaborative divorce is a divorce where you both control the outcomes while being supported by a team of professionals. It’s a way to not only divorce but also put in place what’s needed to protect your family’s future. You make the rules, and you set the pace. Yes, collaborative divorce can save money, but most importantly, collaborative divorce saves relationships.

Learn more. Contact Ogborne Law, PLC of Arizona.