Many parents are focused on managing their children through divorce and forget to take care of themselves.
From emotional discussions with your soon to be ex to stressful thoughts about the future, it’s easy to get burned out. You have to take care of yourself through this stressful time or you’ll end up exhausted.
That’s no good for your kids or for you.
While many of us aren’t used to letting other people take care of us, now is the time to reach out for support from friends and family.
We’ve outlined successful things our collaborative divorce clients have done to make their lives a little easier and to give them some breathing room so they can make it out the other side.
Taking care of the kids
Ask for help taking care of the kids for school pick up or drop off especially if you’re trying to juggle your own job or business. It’s okay to let them stay with grandparents overnight while you take some time to decompress, whether that’s a night at the movies or a quiet evening at home with a favorite book.
Make time for YOU
Whether it’s a quiet walk, kid-free time with friends, or self-care like a massage, it’s important for you to take care of you. You can’t be strong for your family if you’re burnt out. Schedule time during your week to do something that will help you recover from the stress.
Choose friends carefully
Hanging out with friends who are bitter about their divorce may not be the healthiest choice for you. Stay away from the victim language and mentality and spend time with positive people who encourage you. You may still be upset about things that happen during your divorce but it’s a lot easier when you’re not carrying someone else’s baggage during the process.
Divorce sucks but you will survive. There’s no better way to take care of you than to work with a professional. Many people find that this process allows them to handle their feelings, identify new ways to cope with feelings, and to address unresolved issues that may make moving forward difficult. Take your friends up on their offer to watch the kids and make an appointment with a counselor who can help you navigate this time of change in your life.
Make rules about talking about divorce
Your friends mean well when they ask about your divorce but if you want to talk about something else, you need to tell them. Sometimes the best thing is to focus on something positive and life-giving like your children or the new life you’re creating for yourself.
Allowing your friends and family to help you through this time will help you adjust to your new life and remain positive even in the face of stressful times.
It doesn’t matter if you can’t or won’t do all of the things we’ve outlined above.
What matters is that you do any of them.
Remember that being strong during divorce doesn’t mean doing it alone. It means recognizing when you need help the most and getting it.
If you can handle that, you’ll find that you can get through almost anything during and after your divorce.
Engaging with an attorney to protect your family is never an easy step. Whether you need to protect your family from the unthinkable or restructure your family through collaborative divorce, we’re here to help. When you’re ready to schedule a consultation with Michelle Ogborne, please visit the scheduling page to get started.