“It broke my heart when he asked for a prenuptial agreement,” said Kara. “Our relationship is strong and I never thought about getting a prenup. Before I lost it, I asked him about his point of view.”
“He explained a small property was his and had been in his family for over 50 years. His grandparents lived there, but he paid the taxes on it. He wasn’t really sure what was going to happen, and he didn’t want to risk losing it.”
Getting a prenup made sense and Kara helped structure a prenuptial agreement that specifically excluded the property from the marriage. However, the entire process of looking ahead – and facing the reality that people and situations can change – helped the couple create a prenup that protected them equally. The exercise also helped them create better communication habits and learn to have difficult conversations.
There Are Sound Reasons for Getting a Prenup
It’s actually interesting to research magazine articles on prenuptial agreements. Articles circa 2010 emphasize lack of trust as the main reason for getting a prenup; it indicated a need for more faith in marriage. That was that generation. Common-sense millennials are approaching marriage with the same hopes and dreams engaged couples have shared for eons. But there’s one big difference.
Millennials tend to lack starry-eyed views of the realities in life. People grow; sometimes away from each other. Situations change because they’re supposed to change; that’s life. Prenups should not cause breakups; they are about unification.
If a Prenup Is About Trust, What Are You Afraid of?
Think about it. Do you believe drafting a prenuptial marital agreement means you don’t “trust” each other? If you’re against working together to create a prenup, it might indicate an even greater lack of trust. This can be a red flag, so do not take it lightly.
A Prenup Can Be Your First Opportunity to Work Together as Adults
People who have pie-in-the-sky ideals may not be the best partners for the realities of marriage, co-parenting, and/or money management. “I fell in love with Jamie’s faith and strong family values,” said a now-divorced Jessica. “After years of mismanaging our income and debt, I had to come to grips with his complete inability to deal with here-and-now.”
After several years of realizing they weren’t going to be able to reconcile their differences in how they manage their money, Jessica knew it was time for a divorce. Going through the exercise of getting a prenup may have exposed her to the realities of how he would manage or mismanage, their money.
It’s Never Too Late
Engagements can be all about flowers, furniture, honeymoons and… Since you had few assets and lots of debt, a prenuptial agreement seemed pointless. Fast-forward to years later, and you’re married with kids, have increased incomes and assets, and are considering estate planning to protect your children.
You may want to include a postnuptial agreement in your legal portfolio. Postnups are almost better than prenups because you have experience living and working together. One or both of you may have developed a business. Aging parents may leave inheritances or personal items you don’t want to be common to the marriage.
Many engaged couples these days still question the reasons for getting a prenup. If you didn’t complete that legal marital agreement, there’s a fix for that earlier reluctance. After one extramarital affair and much counseling, a couple agreed to draft a postnuptial agreement that made provisions for future fidelity. Other postnuptial inclusions can be:
- Asset management
- Debt division
- Future inheritances
- Property division
- Roles in a family-owned business
Ogborne Law, PLC: Arizona Legal Professionals
Is there anything more beautiful than two people uniting to create a unique family? Marriage is an exciting adventure! Together, you can build a good life based on trust and hopes. A prenuptial agreement can be part of your wedding plans, and we want to help you structure one that reflects your love and respect for each other.
Never think you aren’t rich enough to consider a marital agreement. If you have each other, you’re already a wealthy family. A consultation can be free and informative. Contact Ogborne Law to discuss your marital agreement options.
Engaging with an attorney to protect your family is never an easy step. Whether you need to protect your family from the unthinkable or restructure your family through collaborative divorce, we’re here to help. When you’re ready to schedule a consultation with Michelle Ogborne, please visit the scheduling page to get started.