It’s been said communication is one of the top reasons couples divorce. Unfortunately, it doesn’t get any better during the proceedings or even after everything is complete. How do you talk to each other without your emotions getting you in trouble?
Collaborative divorce may be just the option you need to encourage better communication during a challenging time. Communication, that is not only important between you and your spouse, but with your children as well.
Divorce is a sticky subject. It’s not easy, but with the right tools it can be a little easier.
How Collaborative Divorce Helps Communication
Open communication is a necessary for the collaborative divorce to work efficiently. How is this possible when you’re in so much emotional pain? Thankfully, there are stopgaps in place along the process.
In a collaborative divorce through Ogborne Law, PLC. you will work not only with your attorneys but also with a mediator and professional counselors who are trained to help you improve your communication and work together. You’ll have a safe sounding board for your emotions rather than having to curb your thoughts or, even worse, take out your fears and aggression on your spouse or children.
Tips for Better Communication During Divorce
There’s no doubt you’re going to have difficult feelings—lots of them—during your separation and divorce. Those feelings can make communications challenging.
These are some useful tips to make getting through to your soon-to-be ex a little easier.
When we’re angry, we’re forming opinions constantly and waiting for our turn to talk in an argument. Instead of thinking what you’re going to say, reconnect and listen to your spouse.
Listen with an open mind. You may well stop an argument before it even starts just by being present in the moment.
Check Your Tone
When talking to your spouse, do you find yourself sounding sarcastic or mean? You likely have all kinds of reasons for that, and some of them may be the reason you’re working through a divorce.
For the sake of your current and future communication, as well as the benefit of your children, take a deep breath and speak calmly with no undertone.
Sometimes, we think the written language is the best way to communicate because it cannot be mistaken—but when emotions are raging, people make assumptions. They look for clues about what you’re feeling and make up stories based on their own feelings. Don’t trust anything important to a text or email. Instead, pick up the phone or, when feasible, meet face to face.
One note of caution, always make sure to review any situation with your attorney first. If nothing else, they should know what is going on but they may also prevent you from causing a problem during your divorce.
Sure, you’re angry, you’re hurt, and you want to tell everyone about what’s happening with your relationship. Perhaps you have one or two trusted friends with whom you share everything. Or you engage with a counselor to help you through this tough time.
That’s fine, but what you want to avoid is venting on social media or in front of your children.
That kind of negativity could come back up in the divorce proceedings and really hurt your relationship with your kids.
You and your family can get through this next phase of your relationship and come out on the other side of divorce different yet still connected. It starts with an open mind, a willing heart, and solid communication. You’ve got this!
Engaging with an attorney to protect your family is never an easy step. Whether you need to protect your family from the unthinkable or restructure your family through collaborative divorce, we’re here to help. When you’re ready to schedule a consultation with Michelle Ogborne, please visit the scheduling page to get started.