In spite misconceptions of love conquers all or happily ever after, challenges in the marital relationship may come up within a short time following the wedding. The success or collapse of a marriage can depend on how well the couple deals with matters such as chores, leisure time, family of origin, sexuality, spirituality, in-laws, expectations, conflict, communication, parenting, and financial assets.
A lot of couples don’t speak about these matters prior to getting married and are surprised a couple of years down the road when disputes seem more predominant than romance. The question to then ask yourself is: are you sure you’re ready for marriage?
The First Basic Question
The initial question to ask yourself to establish if you’re ready to get marriage is: why do I want to get married? Whereas it may seem foolish, thinking about and answering the question is going to make it less probable that you are going to have impractical expectations and be displeased down the road. Whereas a family law attorney can help you devise a premarital agreement to bypass conflict concerning financial matters, it’s beneficial for couples to ask themselves a lot of other questions. Take a little time to go over this list with your soon-to-be-spouse. You may be shocked how open communication about these issues is going to improve your relationship.
Finances and Money Management
Money is most likely one of the most common subjects of conflicts in a marriage, so it’s vital to know each other’s goals concerning finances, including how money is going to be managed, before getting married. Before anything else, it’s essential to discuss if everything is going to be shared equally. Don’t forget, each state regards marital and separate property differently.
Each state views property obtained before the marriage, property accepted as a gift, and property inherited throughout the marriage as separate property, that means it is not shared by the marriage. States are split concerning how to address marital property — the property that is obtained or earned throughout the marriage. Community property states split marital property 50/50, whereas the other states utilize equitable distribution and split the property “fairly,” in which might be 50/50 or some other portion.
Establishing how money is going to be managed before getting married can help prevent marriage money problems in the future. This could include talking about and deciding on the following matters:
- Do you plan on living within a budget? Who is going to manage it?
- Who is going to pay bills? Which ones?
- Are you going to have a joint checking account?
- Are significant assets (like a house) going to be held jointly?
- What are your long-term goals, financially? How are you going achieve them?
Children and Parenting
It’s important to talk about if you are wanting children, and how many you would each like to have. Usually, people assume that their future spouse are going to want children, so they never talk about it before they get married. Then, after a while, they are shocked to discover their spouse does not want children or wants more or less children. Additionally, it’s wise to discuss if you are open to adoption, should you be unable to naturally have children.
In the same way, supposing each of you want children, it’s essential to talk about how you think children should be brought up. For instance, is one parent going to stay home to raise the children or are you going to arrange for childcare to allow both parents to work? It’s also wise to talk about whether you would prefer to have your children attend public school or private school. Each soon-to-be-spouse’s standpoint on children and parenting can clearly cause problems in a marriage, so it’s best to talk about children prior to getting married.
Day-to-Day Life and Personal Beliefs
Finally, it’s also a good idea to discuss your day-to-day life and personal beliefs. You each may have an anticipation of what day-to-day life is going to look like following getting married, but when you do not share it with your future spouse, you are risking being disappointment – or possibly getting into an argument – once the honeymoon phase is over. For instance, it’s important to discuss how the housekeeping is going to be split. It’s also important to consider and talk about the following:
- Are you going to mind if your spouse spends a significant amount of time alone or pursuing recreational activities without you?
- How are you going to make sure you have quality time together as spouses?
Additionally, although it’s probable that your personal beliefs have come up throughout the course of your dating relationship, openly talking about this can be wise. For example, does your faith play a significant part in your life, and is it going to bother you if your spouse doesn’t share your spiritual beliefs?
Get Professional Assistance with Your Legal Questions Concerning Marriage
Seeking this kind of discussion is not only going to help you figure out if you are ready to get married, but also usually reveals mixed expectations and helps you resolve areas of difference before they become contentious. When you encounter issues that require the help of an attorney, like financial matters, titles for property, adoption, or child support/custody questions, be sure to speak with a family law attorney that is familiar with the pertinent laws in your state.
Are you ready for marriage? Findlaw. (2020, December 31). Retrieved August 16, 2022, from https://www.findlaw.com/family/marriage/are-you-ready-for-marriage-.html
There’s nothing better than the peace of mind you will have knowing you’ve protected your family at a time when they need it most. Let us help. Schedule a consultation or contact Ogborne Law, PLC of Arizona today.