4 Common Ways Kids Deal With Divorce
It’s no secret that children can struggle with the reality of a divorce. Since all children differ in their personalities and temperaments, they will deal with divorce in a variety of ways. While some actions may seem out of the ordinary for your child, the way most kids deal with divorce is likely perfectly normal, especially when considering the situation. Let’s look 4 of the most common ways a child will deal with divorce and what you can do to help during this time.
1. Acting Out At School
Acting out at school is undoubtedly the most common way children deal with divorce. When you and your spouse are struggling over the details of the divorce, it can be easy to forget that your child deserves extra attention during this time. This is not to suggest you are neglecting them, but that you may not realize just how tough this process has been on them.
When kids don’t feel they are getting enough attention at home, they can rebel in other settings, such as school. In most cases, this behavior is simply a cry for attention. If your child is normally well-behaved in a school setting, this is a clear sign that they are struggling to deal with the impending divorce. Take some time to sit down with your child to discuss their feelings. Let them be open and honest about everything while reassuring them that it’s okay to feel this way.
2. Creating Imaginary Friends
Many children invent imaginary friends, and this is completely normal. However, it may be concerning if your child suddenly creates an imaginary friend during a divorce process. Your child could feel as though they have nobody to talk to about their feelings at the moment. An imaginary friend gives them an outlet to express feelings that they may be ashamed of or need to work through.
It could be helpful to take your child to see a counselor to discuss their feelings. This can really help kids deal with a tough divorce. Many children feel more comfortable opening up to someone outside of the situation rather than their own parents. Of course, there is no replacement for having these honest conversations one-on-one with your child, but a counselor can help facilitate the talks.
3. Giving Preference To One Parent
When dealing with the stress of a divorce, it is also common for children to suddenly show a preference for one parent. They may even refuse to spend time with the other parent at this time. Children can easily pick up on the animosity between their parents. As a result, they may avoid a parent who exhibits negative emotions as a means of protecting themselves. They may also attempt to protect a particularly emotional parent and blame the other for causing pain. Both parents need to remind the child that he/she is going to be fine.
Do your best not to speak negatively about your spouse in front of your children. Following the divorce, your ex will likely remain in the child’s life, so refrain from souring this relationship at all costs. This can only make the split tougher on the children.
4. Rebelling
Dealing with divorce is a major disruption to a child’s life. This can often lead them to fighting back against things they normally do or like. This can include simple things like doing homework or chores. They might believe if they are disruptive, the two of you will have to work together and get back together once again.
The best way to help your children deal with divorce and prepare for a new normal is to reassure them as much as possible. Although things will feel different for a while, they will get used to the situation eventually. Children are remarkably resilient when they are given the love and support they need. Always focus on making your children feel safe and confident.
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There’s nothing better than the peace of mind you will have knowing you’ve protected your family at a time when they need it most. Let us help. Schedule a consultation or contact Ogborne Law, PLC of Arizona today.
