What is Mediation In Divorce?
Mediation is one of the more routinely used techniques of negotiating divorce settlements. Using divorce mediation, both of you—or, in some instances, the both of you and your lawyers—hire an unbiased 3rd party, a “mediator”, to meet with you with the objective of tackling and settling the matters in your divorce. The mediator won’t make decisions for you but serves as a negotiator to assist you and your spouse in figuring out what’s best.
Advantages of Mediation
Individuals experiencing a divorce needs to think about mediation, in which can work for just about every couple and has a long list of advantages.
- Mediation is a lot less costly than court trial or a series of litigations.
- Most mediations conclude in a settlement of every issue in your divorce.
- Mediation is private, with no public record of what happens during sessions.
- Mediation lets you to come to a resolution based on your own thoughts of what is just in your case, instead of having a solution enforced on you because of unyielding and impersonal legal principles.
- You are still able to have an attorney give you legal counsel if you like.
- Both of you — not the courts – controls the process.
- The mediation process is able to improve communication between the two of you, helping you avoid down the road conflicts.
Mediation For Couples
Whereas mediation is certainly worth trying for many couples, not all couples belong in mediation. For instance, if there is domestic abuse in your marriage, you should think carefully prior to you agree to be involved—but don’t let it get out of control. Some individuals who have gone through abuse in their marriages find it driving to meet on a level playing-field of mediation sessions; whereas others discover there’s too great a chance of copying the subtleties of the marriage and opt to have an attorney do the negotiating on their behalf.
Additionally, because the mediator isn’t able to order each of you to do anything, an individual that wants to postpone the proceedings or avoiding paying support can misuse the process by consenting to mediation and then halt the process. If you require decisions concerning support or other made made early in the divorce, you might need to head to court. However, this doesn’t mean you aren’t able to use mediation in the future to resolve the rest of the matters in your divorce.
The only thing that is required to make divorce mediation triumphant is for both individuals to show up wanting to negotiate and are open to compromising. Don’t dismiss mediation just because you both picture a particular matter differently—simply out, don’t quit before start. Mediation is an effective process and numerous cases that appear impossible to resolve at the start, end in a settlement when all involved is dedicated to the process.
The Mediation Process
Despite the fact that each mediator has their own way of doing things, many mediators tend to move along in similar fashion. You’ll typically start with a phone call whereupon you’ll speak with the mediator or their assistant and give background details concerning the marriage, your family, and what issues are present. Many mediators want a large amount of basic information prior to the mediation beginning, whereas others have a preference to collect all of the details in the initial meeting when everyone is in attendance.
You’ll then go to the initial meeting—commonly held in a conference room or relaxed office—in which the mediator is going to explain what you might expect from the process. As an example, the mediator might tell you that everyone is going to be in the same room for the whole mediation or you’ll meet through individual sessions so the mediator is able to get your views or positions privately. They can also take care of some maintenance business—for instance, request that you sign an agreement declaring that are going to keep what’s said in mediation sessions to yourself and that you comprehend that the mediator is unable to disclose any of what goes on there when there might be a court proceeding down the road. In spite of that, the mediator is going to try to make you feel comfortable by establishing an accord with both of you.
Attorneys in Divorce Mediation
If you have representation, the question is going to arise whether your attorney should go to the mediation with you. This is a matter you’ll figure out with your mediator and you and your spouses attorneys. Many times, divorce mediation sessions entail just the spouses getting divorced and their mediator. This is going to keep costs down and makes sure that you both do the talking and make the decisions (attorneys have an inclination to take over when present)
Unless your attorney deems it important that you have representation, try the initial session without them. (If your spouse is insistent on having an attorney with them, you’ll also want your attorney present.) If you don’t have representation, but you’ve requested an attorney to be your consulting attorney just for mediation purposes, then you will probably go to the first mediation session on your own. However, if you attend your session by yourself and then you find that you can’t declare your position plainly or defend yourself on your own, then consider bringing your attorney with you to later sessions.
Finding a Mediator
Your attorney is going to have referrals to mediators in your area. When representing yourself, you’ll have to find a divorce mediator by yourself. If able to, try and find recommendations from someone you whole-heartedly trust. You can ask attorneys, CPA’s, counselors, or spiritual leaders for referrals, in addition to friends that have gone through divorce. If are unable to locate direct, personal referrals, below are other things to look into:
- Look online: mediate.com and divorcenet.com have links to mediator referrals, like other divorce websites and attorney directories.
- Get a hold of national mediation or family law associations, including the Association for Conflict Resolution, the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts, and the American Arbitration Association.
- Get a hold of your area community mediation center and inquire about recommendations – or see if your case might be adequate for cost effective community mediation.
- Contact your local bar association or a local association of counselors or CPA’s.
- Call of your local legal assistance office.
You need to only work with a mediator that is knowledgeable in divorce cases and preferably one that is an attorney experienced in family law. After you have some names, get ahold of the mediators and ask all the questions you have to, until you’re moderately confident that you can work alongside this mediator.
Source:
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Emily Doskow, A. (2016, August 17). Divorce mediation basics. www.nolo.com. https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/divorce-mediation-basics-36180.html.
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While the divorce mediation process is not for everyone, it can save you money, stress, and hassle. Speak with a professional divorce mediator to find out if divorce mediation is right for your family.
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