Many people who conclude that they need a divorce want it over fast. Getting a quickie divorce, though, is not as easy as it sounds. You need to take the time to work through all of your issues. If you have not communicated well in marriage, it can be hard to start now.
Still, there are ways to make it less difficult. When you commit to working toward a solution together, you can get through it less painfully. Focus on the process and what you want to achieve. A collaborative divorce can get you where you need to be by keeping your divorce out of court.
1. Avoid Fighting
The biggest obstacle to a quickie divorce is you. Divorce does not happen because you and your spouse got along too well. Fighting isn’t always part of this, but working together will take effort. Find points you agree on, and focus on finding the path that is best for both of you.
This does not mean you cannot argue. When you do, though, focus on the issues. Attacking each other makes a quickie divorce almost impossible. Work through arguments to find solutions, not to score points.
2. Don’t Use Your Kids
When you have kids, it gets even more complicated. You need to work out parenting time, custody issues, and child support. You may worry about your finances as well as how you will get the time you want and need with your children. Be careful not to use them to get concessions.
Your kids need to know you both love them. You may struggle to agree on what is best for them. Just remember to stay respectful and keep the focus on what is right, not what will hurt your spouse.
3. Disclose Properly
Divorces drag out when you do not share what you should. If you want a quickie divorce, you need to disclose your financial and business interests. Assets that you try to hide tend to come out later. When this happens, not only does it prolong the divorce, but it adds distrust to the equation.
You may be tempted to keep something to yourself. Whatever the reason, though, you need to disclose it. You would be upset if your spouse had assets he or she hid during the process. Openness is the only way to work toward a fair agreement.
4. Communicate About Disagreements
Along the way, you will not agree on everything. You don’t have many certainties in life or divorce, but not agreeing on everything is one of them. The key is how you address them. A small disagreement can become a huge fight that makes everything harder.
When you do disagree, say so. Pretending something doesn’t bother you will only make it harder. When you do disagree, though, be ready to listen as well as talk. Only by putting in an effort toward full and open communication can you hope to resolve your differences.
5. Use the Collaborative Divorce Process
Collaborative divorce provides a process to help avoid all of these problems. It does not create a quickie divorce in the strictest sense. You will work with a team of professionals to find the best agreement you can. You each have your own lawyer, but they commit to finding an agreement rather than fighting to win.
If you work together, you can get through the divorce without too much frustration. It may not completely be a quickie divorce, but it helps you get where you need to be. For more information on how collaborative divorce can work for you, contact Ogborne Law today.
Engaging with an attorney to protect your family is never an easy step. Whether you need to protect your family from the unthinkable or restructure your family through collaborative divorce, we’re here to help. When you’re ready to schedule a consultation with Michelle Ogborne, please visit the scheduling page to get started.